Between Earth and Sea (c) June 2014

Having settled down at the age of seventeen, I never experienced a tumultuous romantic relationship.  During our life together, Jim never even raised his voice.  He never spoke a harsh word.

I wish, more than I can say, that I could say the same for me.

I’m certain Jim never told a lie to me or anyone else, though he crafted something known as the “Steph news blackout” to spare me worry, and tried mightily to protect me for as long as he could.

“Wait, when did you know that it might be a tumor?  Did you know before the ultrasound?”  I asked him, weeks after the unavoidable truth had lodged in my head and heart.  

“I was still trying to protect you then,” he said simply.   

Between the Vines

It is not a reflection of our marriage that I have often circled back to the song “The Space Between” since losing him, but in its stripped-down acoustic form I now hear a striking way of thinking about other relationships.

Parents of teenagers may have some idea of what I’m talking about.

Ordinarily an enduring relationship of any kind will have some friction and distance.  Love is the easy part.  In the relationships which sustain us, a core bond survives pain and fear and anger, disagreements, misunderstandings, and life’s bountiful baggage. We have to navigate between things said and unsaid, between deeds done and foregone. Through space.  Through time.

. . . .The Space Between 
The tears we cry 
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more 
The Space Between 
All our wicked lies is where we 
Hope to keep safe from the pain . . . .

Between the Lines

. . . .The Space Between 
Where you’re smiling high 
Is where you’ll find me . . . . 
The Space Between 
The bullets in our firefight 
Is where I’ll be hiding, waiting for you 
The rain that falls 
Splash in your heart 
Ran like sadness down the window … 

Between Spring Showers

.  . . .Take my hand 
‘Cause we’re walking out of here 
Oh, right out of here 
Love is all we need, dear 
The Space Between 
What’s wrong and right 
Is where you’ll find me hiding, waiting for you 
The Space Between 
Your heart and mine 
Is the space we’ll fill with time . . . .

Between You & Me