About

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This blog grew out of reflecting on my husband Jim’s and our lives after we learned of his sudden diagnosis, young and with no known risk factors, with inoperable pancreatic cancer.

At his memorial service only months later, the Reverend urged everyone to “live their lives as though they knew this man.”

Of hundreds upon hundreds of people who attended what Jim called his “Closing Ceremonies,” only some knew him well.  Some had known him for most or all of his life. Four were his younger sisters; others were like brothers to him. Some knew him  as colleagues or patients, or had called him “Coach” at Little League games.  The Boy Scout troop he spent years working with presented a solemn color guard.  Some people came in support of me and our children; some, indeed, had never even met Jim.  My mother’s mechanic closed down his business that day and came up to my husband’s service, just because he could read in my mother’s sadness what a fine man her only son-in-law was.

I believe the way Jim lived his entire life, not just the fraction of it during which he knew he was dying, is worth knowing.

Jim’s and our family’s story is also very much one of friendship–of the compassionate friend he was to others, and the unbelievable friends they have been to him and to us.

Comments and thoughts are welcome.

 

If you would like to see even more pictures, please follow Schnitzelpond on Instagram.javascript:;

Please note all writing and photographs are original material, (c) 2012-2017 by the blog’s author.  Any material by others is expressly attributed and reproduced with permission.   Nothing from this blog should be reproduced without attribution and without the author/ photographer’s written permission.  Attributed reblogging is, however, an honor 🙂

65 Responses to About

  1. Stephanie says:

    Please feel free to comment. I have found some experiences in grief and loss and love are universal, and some things I never would have thought would resonate with other people seem to do so. I would love to know if that happens for you.

    • SoundEagle says:

      Hi Stephanie,

      SoundEagle is very touched by the rationale or impetus behind the creation and continuation of your blog. SoundEagle would like to wish you a new dawn and a satisfying journey of blogging in 2014 and beyond.

      SoundEagle hopes that you continue to do very well and find fulfillment in whatever you enjoy doing and savouring, especially through your special blog as a creative outlet to share and document your thoughts and opinions, and as a vehicle or medium to write about your “Live-Blogging Love Lost and Found, from Blue Angels in the Backyard to Penguins on the Equator” in order to “live their lives as though they knew [Jim]”.

      As a token of SoundEagle’s friendship and love to you, here is a special post that seems to fit the theme of your blog named “Love in the Spaces”:
      http://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2013/12/11/sacred-geometry-flower-of-life-soul-connection-essential-beauty-and-authentic-power-in-harmony-truth-and-love/

  2. Stephanie,
    Thank you for sharing your story with the world. So much of the beauty and insight that shapes our reality comes from the breaking-open of our hearts. I truly believe that the strongest teachings and most potent medicine that we collectively hold -our universal truths- come from people’s willingness to share their intimately personal journeys with others, Thank you, and blessings to you and your family. Love,
    Jessica

  3. thetemenosjournal says:

    I just recently lost my partner to Pancreatic Cancer – just 2 weeks ago. I’m just starting out on my blogging journey after being “off the grid” for almost 3 years. I look forward to reading your posts, and thank you for sharing your stories.

    • Stephanie says:

      I am so very sorry for your own loss and feel for you: there is such an indescribable intense shock in the immediate aftermath of the loss. I hope you have friends and family upon whom to lean–they want you to do that. I hope you will find that writing back on the grid is helpful to you, too.

      • I am now in LOVE with blogging. Nov 1st now seems like a lifetime ago. I’m out of the raw shock, and now trying to grope my way forward. Everyone has my best interests at heart, just me who is unsure — of what direction I should go in. The easy way that leads probably in the same direction I’ve always gone…or, like a butterfly do some cocooning and grow wings 😉 and go in a whole new direction.

        And thank you for replying….you reminded me how very short a time its been.

  4. Pingback: (Daily Prompt) An Audience of One: How I Wish This Blog Didn’t Exist | Live-Blogging Love and Loss

  5. Kathy says:

    Hi Stephanie: I’ve added you to my blog roll because I think your story could help some of my readers. Take care.

  6. Your Jim sounds very special. Although you are experiencing his loss in your family, you were a lucky to have him in your life. Many go through their entire lives and never meet that special person. You get to see him every day in your children. And, I love “closing ceremonies.”

  7. WM says:

    My language is too poor to express my feelings, Stephanie. I wish you all the very best. I will be your reader.

  8. Stephanie says:

    Thank you, Ileana. I visited your blog and saw your incredible photographs–my husband would have loved them! And I would love to visit your part of the world. I hope you carry all the good of your father.

  9. Thanks, Stephanie, for all your likes on my blog and for your kind words!
    If someday you will come in this part of the world, as you say, note that at least one friend you already have in Bucharest/Romania! Me!
    All my best!

  10. Found you via Readers Choice. I’m sorry for your loss and admire your willingness to share your grief with others.

  11. lifecorked says:

    Just found you through born by the river. My mom passed away from pancreatic cancer seven years ago at 57. She was amazing, wonderful and my best friend. Like your husband, she was taken too soon. Thanks for sharing your journey. It’s not a “club” we wish to be a part of, but it’s nice to have others who “get” us.

    • Stephanie says:

      I’m so sorry about your mom, but how wonderful to have had such a relationship with her. I wish you the best, and thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

  12. JY says:

    I am sorry for ur lost, Stephanie. But Jim sound like an amazing guy. RIP, jim. You are loved.

  13. Pingback: Magdalenki przed Wielką Przerwą / Madeleines before a Great Break | ALE KSIĄŻKI / AND YET THE BOOKS

  14. WM says:

    Good morning, Stephanie. Could you do me a favour and visit my blog? I want to say Thank You!

  15. You have opened up your heart and your friends in the blogosphere are happy to share this journey with you. He sounds like he was indeed a wonderful man. Hugs. ~ Island Vignettes

  16. You’re welcome Stephanie. I also want to thank you for following Island Vignettes. Look forward to us learning from each other. Have a lovely day,

  17. dapplegrey says:

    Stephanie, thanks for leaving a like on my post About Turn.
    You left a comment on my About page on the 18th of May, and I didn’t answer it as despite being the most beautiful sentence it broke off and seemed to be incomplete (was it?) and I didn’t quite know what to say, and as you followed it with another (a very kind nomination) I just said thank you. Just wanted to say that I try always to reply to comments and really appreciated your very kind words!

  18. Stephanie says:

    Hi, dapplegrey! Trying to reconstruct, I think the whole sentence was to try pithily to describe your blog: “Just lovely. A whispering softness and appreciation of life suffuses the poetry and prose.”

  19. Capt Jill says:

    Hi Stephanie,
    Sorry for your loss. I hope the blogging will help you deal with it and help others understand too. Thanks for stopping by my blog and liking some of my posts.

  20. yarnspinnerr says:

    I am sure blogging will dull the pain to a bearable ache.
    This enriched me.

  21. elmcal says:

    Thanks for liking my post.

  22. bgoffe2013 says:

    Greetings, Just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for an award. To see more about it got to: http://bryangoffe.com/2013/11/03/most-influential-blogger-award/

  23. Thank you so much for stopping by our blog and commenting/liking our posts. We have read through some of your posts and would really like to say you write so beautifully – your words are sincere and so deep! Thank you for sharing such your story & Jim’s story with the world. We are sorry Jim was taken so soon.

  24. One Stove says:

    I happened to stumble upon your blog. I am so sorry for your loss. You write beautifully and sincerely. Thank you for sharing your story. Blessings to you and your family.

  25. Pingback: The Size of the Cloth | Love in the Spaces

  26. Preeti says:

    Stephanie you have beautiful blog. Am truly sorry for your loss. I think its very brave of you to share your grief and experiences creating a bridge with so many others. Looking forward to exploring more of your posts. BTW thanks for dropping by at my place in this blogosphere and deciding to keep tabs on my ‘experiments’ . Stay strong and stay blessed!

  27. dtoddbell says:

    Stephanie,

    This is Derek Bell, I write Playing in the City with Trains. I wanted to thank you for your writing. On those tough days, it helps me see the beauty.

    I was wondering if you’d be interested in taking part in the #mywritingprocess blog tour. Basically a chain letter in blog form, but unlike a chain letter, it is fun, and it will hopefully expose your writing to people who may not have been lucky enough to discover it on their own.

    It’s simple. You shoot me a very brief bio so I can point readers in your direction at the end of my post, Then, in your post, you mention me and my blog, and then answer these four questions:
    – What are you working on?
    – How does your work differ from others in its genre?
    – Why do you write what you do?
    – How does your writing process work?

    And then you pass it on to at least one other blogger.
    Please let me know if you’re interested. If not, I completely understand.

    Thanks for your help.
    Derek

  28. Victoria says:

    Hi Stephanie, thank you so much for stopping by my place, I surely am glad that you did. You have a beautiful, and deeply thoughtful, blog. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. There are also spaces which cannot be filled. Much Love to You.

  29. Pingback: Producing Pairs – Weekly Photo Challenge: Dialogue | A Vital Recognition

  30. Paula says:

    Stephanie, I am sorry even though I don’t know you. I know about loss, and losing father very young I have lived my life with fear of loss ever since. Best wishes to you and your children.

  31. I admire your courage to write and share some of those intense and deep feelings of loss. It is always such an absence when we lose someone and when so young and so close to you, you are in my thoughts and love the way your blog shares the difficult journey you are having to take.

  32. Anita says:

    Stephanie, thank you very much for the visits to my blog. You have a beautiful blog here, and now that I know how it came about — my condolences for your loss, and prayers for you to relive the good memories and remain strong.

  33. Hi Stephanie,
    Would you care to join with me and participate in the 5 Day Black & White Photo Challenge? The goal is to post a black and white photo each day for 5 days and to nominate someone else to join the challenge each day.

    I hope that you will join the fun, but I will understand if you choose not to.

    Allan

  34. Julia says:

    Thank you for visiting my blog, I hope you enjoyed my writing:)

  35. Arlette says:

    Yes, I did enjoy your beautiful pictures. Thank You. With love, Arlette.

  36. Miriam says:

    Hi Stephanie, so happy to have found your blog but saddened when I read this page and of your loss. Not sure how long ago you lost your Jim but I hope that you are finding some peace and blessing in your life. i send you warm wishes from across the ocean and look forward to exploring more of what looks like a beautiful blog.

    • Stephanie says:

      Thank you so much for coming by the blog (and from so far away! I intend to get to Australia one of these days) and for your kind words. It is unbelievable to me now in many ways, but it’s now been five years since Jim died and he is still so very much a part of our lives.

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