Unwritten and Unfolding

 

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I am not living the life I expected to live.

Not nearly.

From the time I was in kindergarten I expected to be a mother.

From the age of about twelve I expected to be a trial lawyer.  I had been an insatiable fan of detective novels and the Perry Mason show.  (It was only much later that I would learn which side actually wins nearly all the criminal trials.)

I expected to go to college and law school, to marry, to enjoy my career.  I trusted that someday my children would go off to school themselves, become independent, start families of their own, and assumed that when that happened I would happily resume life as a couple with my husband Jim.

He–needless to say to anyone who knew us as a couple–was the one doing all the concrete future planning, saving for tuition and for his expected retirement decades from now.

Then his own cells betrayed him and stripped away his future.

Jhumpa Lahiri’s narrator in The Lowland observed, “Most people trusted in the future, assuming that their preferred version of it would unfold.  Blindly planning for it, envisioning things that weren’t the case.  This was the working of the will.  This was what gave the world purpose and direction.  Not what was there but what was not.”

In those detective novel terms, I suppose we focus on the dog who’s not barking.

A fellow storyteller helped me re-focus those double negatives: it’s not what’s not here; it’s what is.

I had that marriage until death parted us. . . to a degree.

I have those children, who have now all gone off to school and launched themselves into amazing young adults.

I have that career.

The rest is unfolding.

 

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About Stephanie

In her spare time, Stephanie works full-time, and then some, as an attorney. She has published articles and delivered talks in arcane fields like evidentiary issues, jury instructions, expert witnesses, and forensic evidence. She also is an adjunct professor at a law school on the banks of the Charles and loves that dirty water, as she will always think of Boston as her home. You are welcome to take a look at her Facebook author page, or follow @SMartinGlennon on Twitter. All content on this blog, unless otherwise attributed, is (c) 2012-2016 by Stephanie M. Glennon and should not be reproduced (in any form other than re-blogging in accordance with Wordpress protocol and the numerous other wee buttons at the bottom of each post) without the express permission of the domain holder.
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5 Responses to Unwritten and Unfolding

  1. revbob says:

    Unfolding beautifully, eloquently. Thank you.

  2. Another post from the Heart.

  3. Amy says:

    Thank you for sharing your story, Stephanie.

  4. candidkay says:

    I found when I let go of my vision and lived in the one the universe had for me, I still had rough patches but the good? Well, that’s better than I could have imagined:). Wishing the same for you.

  5. Stephanie:
    Moving.
    Insightful.
    And just enough to make us think.
    Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.

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